Recently, I was invited into a circle of suffering. Most of us prefer an invitation to a celebration, but there is something sacred to be found in the space of suffering. Our deep need for connection is realized in the most tender seasons of our lives. As I sat and looked around the room, I saw creative leaders who needed a respite from the grind of pouring out for others. I saw people surrendering to an unanticipated season of personal growth and healing.

In the middle of the moment–I was reminded how often I take matters into my own hands. 

When I am hurt, I muscle up in a defensive posture.

When I am impatient, I move in to take the ground I think is mine.

When I am angry, I keep people at an arm’s length.

When I am eager, I skip from step two to ten without considering the consequences of the pace.

What implication does taking matters into my own hands have on faith? What am I saying about my knowledge versus God’s plan? Do I sincerely believe I know better?

Waiting is hard. Surrender is counterintuitive. Taking matters into my own hands makes sense in the moment, but I have lived enough to know the long-term impact rarely measures up the way I hope it will…and YET…I continue to find myself taking matters into my own hands.

When we take matters into our own hands, things might be okay for a little while, but most of the time we end up back where we started.

If you find yourself in that space, I want to encourage you to continue showing up and being honest about where you are. Don’t grab for all the things you think will make it better. While it is instinctive to take matters into our own hands, wait it out—stay the course—sit in the suffering—share your need with someone you trust.

Today might be the day that brings your long-awaited breakthrough.

Keep a watchful eye for signs of new life.

Listen closely for whispers of encouragement.

Keep a tight grip on hope.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13