Have you ever encountered a younger version of yourself? When this younger version speaks you understand without knowing all the details because it is *somehow* strangely familiar… LaSondra didn’t want to be engaged in conversation with me, but I was unrelenting. Something about her Protected. Reserved. Suspicious. disposition was oddly similar to a younger version of me.…… Continue reading Following God to Myself
Today is a two cup day. That second cup is steeping now. The house is unusually quiet, worship music fills the air, a candle flickers before me, and I’m kind of undone. We have a difficult family situation weighing on me. My heart is tender and my mind is divided. I’ve attempted to clean my…… Continue reading When Silence is Deafening and Hope Wanes
Post-it Notes protrude from most of my books and notebooks {marking favorite quotes and things I want to return to again}. I place them for the sake of easy {future} retrieval–but–without a doubt, they eventually fall off. Have you noticed that? They transfer to the bottom of shoes, the elbows of sweaters, or to the dreaded “black-hole”…… Continue reading Generous Love: Disrupting a “Me” Centered Theology
This is an open confession: I often wrestle with the desire to see my hopes and dreams fulfilled according to my timeline. I get the lack of trust in that confession. Really. But it’s true. I have a lack of patience that rises up when things don’t go according to my plan. This impatience quickly turns into discouragement.…… Continue reading A Call to Action
Inadequacies, mistakes, failures and fears regularly find their way into my thoughts. Not measuring up—not being enough—have been reoccurring thoughts for as long as I can remember. They are so familiar they can creep in and linger undetected. In elementary school I distinctly remember wanting to read, write and draw like Grace Su. She could do…… Continue reading Play Your Note
“I have good news and bad news.” As I drove the stretch of road, I struggled to make sense of his words…the diagnosis, suggested course of treatment, and steps of immediate action. Osteo~what? I hung up the phone and attempted to sort out the information the doctor shared—understanding would have to come later. Then it hit…… Continue reading Clean Out the Wound
Immature. Cranky. Obsessive. Silly. I’ve been assigned these labels over the course of my years, and I can own them all. In fact, I may even be comfortable with them. I mean, isn’t it just easier to be the person you’ve always been; to walk in the path already cleared and worn – to embrace an identity others expect? I…… Continue reading A Tale of Two Identities
Blindsided. Never saw it coming. Ever uttered those words? There is deep vulnerability assumed in such responses–evidenced by the undertone of surprise. I like to plan–you know–keep things nice and tidy. If possible, I’d do this with every area of my life. Emotions, faith, disappointments, friendships, etc. Keep things under control. A few weekends ago, while attending…… Continue reading A Story, A Question and A Crossroad
We all have one. It shapes our decisions and perceptions. Our relationship filters include them. Backstory: a narrative providing a history or background context… Without discipline, knowledge of another’s backstory can lead to prejudices, or unwarranted judgments. In selfishness–or self-preservation–we can use another’s backstory to justify our own actions. For example, if you happen to feel…… Continue reading Backstory
It was the intersection of my guilt and the Lord’s prompting. My breathing became shallow and my heart thumped wildly. With everything in me, I didn’t like where this was leading. It’s a moment I won’t soon forget. Jesus was directing me to confess my failure—to Him…and to someone I wronged. Confession. There’s something we…… Continue reading The Liberating Power of Confession
Alyssa DeLosSantos 