Christian Living · Hope

Following God to Myself

Have you ever encountered a younger version of yourself? When this younger version speaks you understand without knowing all the details because it is *somehow* strangely familiar…

LaSondra didn’t want to be engaged in conversation with me, but I was unrelenting. Something about her Protected. Reserved. Suspicious. disposition was oddly similar to a younger version of me.

She must have sensed the similarity too-because she slowly let her guard down. Eventually, she asked me to “disciple” her and we began a journey that included me giving advice to the younger me, and the younger me (her) reminding me of my once open mind and inclusive attitude and teaching me how to try those traits on-again.

Today she is my guest blogger and you will hear from her heart. You will discover that she is tender, creative, and articulate. She has fresh insight and wisdom beyond her years! Welcome LaSondra, my friend, into this space and be encouraged by her words.

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i believe when God was knitting me together in my mother, Tammy’s, womb He used the thread of adventure more than anything else (Psalm 139:13). At 18 months old i proudly announced the completion of my meal, “Done Momma!” i’ve been told i giggled while proclaiming my accomplishment. Tammy stopped washing the dishes to appease my need for her immediate attention and turned to see her young child balancing a high chair on the front 2 legs, 1 foot on the tray, the other on the top of the chair. It was the first heart scare of many i would find joy in giving Tammy.

Adventure- it’s always been something i’ve desired and pursued. Athleticism is a terrific counterpart for the types of adventures i seek, and God was very generous with me in that department. Yet, that is the gift i would end up saying ‘no thank you’ to, the part of myself i would deny.

i’ve never been girly, feminine, or as i use to say ‘normal’. It has been my biggest insecurity. Yes, when i was a camp counselor, i wanted to climb to the top of rock wall to pelt my campers with water balloons. No, i was not confident enough to be the only girl, so i settled for handing out popsicles by the nurse’s station. Yawn.

The problem, for a child of God, in denying certain aspects of themselves, is that God calls us by name (John 10:3)- by the identities he purposefully gave us.

i hear from God easily. It’s something i try not to take for granted. One day while sitting on a beach, there was a large fish jumping out of the water. i was in the company of about 150 people all ‘ooo-ing’ and ‘awing’. i however was staring at a rock i desperately wanted to climb. i wasn’t sure why, but God was telling me to climb the rock. After passing multiple fit men impressed i was making the climb- reaffirming my insecurity-i made it to the other side of the rock, to a view impossible to see from the beach.

In a matter of minutes there were whales breaching, dolphins flipping, and a shark attacking sea birds. i was the only person on the beach to see this. Denying the climber in me would still allow me to see a large fish, but trusting God gave me a whole lot more. (would you keep reading if i said a whale lot more?)

No one came to know Jesus. No one even recommitted his or her life to Him. i had no camera with me- so in the ‘2015 social media reality’ this never even happened. In that moment though, i was ok with who God made me, thankful even.

i feel we’ve made our faith’s mission based. How many mission trips? What book are you studying? Where do you tithe? Etcetera.

i remembered in that moment that God wants a relationship with us, to spend time with us, to love us.

That day i used gifts God gave me to pursue something i’ve loved since i was at least 18 months old- an adventure. i can’t promise you that if you embrace who God made you to be that you’ll get a theatre show put on by marine life. i can’t promise it will seem meaningful or impactful. i can confidently say it will draw you closer to God and pull you deeper into a relationship with Him.

i’m still insecure about my lack of feminine qualities, but i trust God made me very good (Genesis 1:31). i also still enjoy giving Tammy heart scares, and that is very fun. (Daughters 1:01)

{Follow LaSondra on instagram @lasondranicole}

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