Thank you, AI (and one of my fun parents), for this insane visual representing my current season of leadership. Not pictured is a jar overflowing with tears, hours of sleepless nights, or the list of questions and open tabs my mind constantly entertains. No one talks about those things because they are uncomfortable, but it is 100% part of leadership.

We often dehumanize leaders without even meaning to. Have you ever done that? Maybe you got so caught up in what you wanted or the story you created that you forgot the other person had a whole invisible backpack of their own? We neglect the story of others because we are so consumed with justice for our own. Some of that is simply part of the human experience. I shared about the time I lost track of a person because I was so focused on an issue. I won’t say more because you can read it for yourself.

Don’t believe me? Look at our political landscape and social media. We forget that people are more than their opinions, positions, decisions, or mistakes. We tend to be myopic; I identify with that tendency. It’s simply easier to think of myself — what I want, how things affect me, etc.

Here’s one lesson I learned in leadership that I am taking to heart for myself. Maybe something you want to consider.

People are quick to create a story with partial information but slow to change the narrative once the details are revealed.

My days are spent untangling stories, clarifying narratives, and mending fences. It has become glaringly obvious how good we are at following our feelings without considering facts. Finding our way to the pool of shared meaning can neutralize narratives and lead us to mutual consideration. Sometimes, I am the target of the frustration. Often, a partial story has grown into an overgrown offense.

If we leave room for our narrative to have holes, we make space for relationship restoration. Rupture and repair can happen when we reach for understanding–not just for getting our point across to the other person–and give others the benefit of the doubt.

Rest assured, this is one of the hardest leadership assignments I have accepted, but I am committed to growing as an individual, sharpening my skills, and slowing down in creating stories that fit my feelings but serve no greater purpose.

As I continue to grow as a leader, what leadership lessons have been most valuable to you? Share them with me!