The New Year is ushered in with hoopla and fanfare. It’s tradition. Stay up later than appropriate {hello over 40 talking} and begrudge the headache you nurse throughout the first hours of the new year. I don’t care much about staying up to watch the clock hands move from one year to the next. I do care about the promise of a do over. The opportunity to be something, do something, or try something new.
I’ve tried and failed at many things. Like the time I thought I’d be good at scrapbooking. Oh, friends. Disaster. Or the time I thought it would be a good idea to try and sew a hippie dress for a Grateful Dead concert. There are just some things I have no business putting energy into. Seriously, where is the picture of that dress?
My children have been the recipients of my failure pep talks. “Falling down is what makes the rise up sweeter. You can empathize with others in their sufferings…” I believe all that. I do. There’s no pressure to believe that when you are winning. Right? But what about when you are the one face down, struggling to breathe and wondering when you arrived in the permanent spin cycle of life.
The pressure of the countdown can send the dreamer into a frenzied panic. There’s not much time left {picture a movie scene with the walls closing in and the character has no possible way out} and your stamina fades. Add in any past failures to the mix, and done.
Failure is inevitable. I won’t say I love you everyday like I’d hoped. You won’t resist the urge to pop one more sweet treat, or click one more time on the forbidden fruit. There in lies the problem of the countdown. You and I exist in a fallen world. We won’t measure up. When the clock runs out and the calendar changes, the failure will linger.
Can I suggest an alternative? It isn’t your typical resolution suggestion.
I’m committing myself to surrender this year. I can’t and won’t be super mom. I won’t say all the right things to my handsome husband. I will fail my children and forget far too many birthdays and anniversaries. I will. It will all be a part of my New Year failure. With that in mind, I want to wake up each day and surrender–expectations, hopes, dreams, my marriage and family, and the fact that I won’t have a perfect batting average in anything.
Surrender. The act of opening my hands and releasing all I’m not actually in control of anyway. The decision to give over my failures, shake the dust from my shoes, and be the best version of me on any given day. The declaration that I can’t possibly do enough, create enough, or be enough. The resolution that scarcity is a terrible companion and I’ll stop inviting the mindset along for the ride.
The new year is full of possibilities. Not because I have strong will-power, or even determination for that matter, but because my greatest success will be in setting down my expectations.
If you were to surrender something that would garner you more breathing room this year, what would that be?
Linking up today with my friends over at Friday Five.Check out what they are up to…
Alyssa DeLosSantos 
So much peace in the surrender. I like the ide you offered of renewing this surrender every day so we don’t get caught in the trap. By the way I am the recipient of one of your scrapbook attempts and am thankful for the effort. Not all a failure😌
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Oh wow, what did I make you? There is peace in the surrender, but why do I fight so hard against it? Performance trap, sin, the fallen condition of humanity…right!
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I think the fallen condition. The devil wants us feel discontent and inadequate. The scrapbook….lost maples pics✂️
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A beautiful but hard theme to carry through the new year. My favorite line: “There’s no pressure to believe that when you are winning.” I recognize I look at 2016 from a good place. I am optimistic about what lies ahead. But, if I were face down, I would have a different approach. “Surrender” works if your high or low. Thanks for linking up! #FridayFive
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I’m so glad to link up with you, today!! Hope to spend a little more time together this year! Grateful for you!
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Love!!! I have resolved years ago to never make resolutions as I am not able to keep them! I love this Alyssa! Thank you for sharing your heart so unswervingly and beautifully! Thankful to call you friend!!!!
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Your words have fallen on fertile soil!! Love you, friend!
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Great stuff, Alyssa! I think what I hear in your words is that you have decided to embrace progress instead of perfection. To allow good enough to be just that…enough. Such wisdom in realizing we are already enough. Keep writing, sister!
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Yes, Kelly! Thank you for putting words to that sentiment. You are a genius! Grateful to share creative space with you!
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My sweet friend, you are wise. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with this older friend. Keep on writing❤️
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Love you, D. Your encouragement is cherished, but your friendship more!
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Agreed! I took on this exact challenge a couple years ago. I’ve stumbled more than once, but when I really embrace the surrender, life unfolds in beautifully unexpected ways. I remind myself: show up, do my best work & let it go.
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So true, Denise. You are a great example for me!
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Alyssa,
Reading this today has nourished my spirit. I totally skipped over making New Year’s Resolutions this year…too many are needed and too much likelihood of failure. I love your idea and am encouraged to simply increase my capacity to surrender!
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Thanks for sharing, Cheryl. Your faith inspires me to keep pursuing authenticity!
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