I’ve been thinking about the highlight reel I see throughout all forms of social media. There isn’t anything inherently wrong about posting the wins of life-though it gets a lot of negative air time. The trouble lives in the comparison game. When I hold my life against the backdrop of the wins of others, I can get sucked into a “my life is a disappointment” mindset.
Want to know why I post personal wins? I am well-acquainted with the failures of my life. Mistakes run like movie marathons in my mind. Scorekeeping is instinctive, and I regularly find myself in the loser’s bracket. I am, after all, my worst critic.
When losses or failures run reel to reel in my mind, it’s easy to forget others aren’t watching the same movie. I assume everyone sees the numerous ways I’m blowing it as a wife, mom, friend, sister, daughter, etc. My rhetoric is clearly compelling because I *think* everyone sees and feels sad about the ways I come up short.
If I post a win, assume three things. 1) I am excited about something good happening despite all life’s challenges. 2) It is NOT for the sake of comparison. I’m probably coming off a season filled with more perceived losses than wins. 3) Insecurity has taken an upper hand over forgiveness and grace.
I’m using this realization to avoid joining other voices in demonizing social media. I am going to use my awareness to speak encouragement into the lives of those celebrating darling children, work promotions, new cars, homes, and all the things between. Maybe others [like me] have mental movie marathons of failures on repeat. Maybe others [like me] forget that others don’t have “behind the scenes” access. Maybe others [like me] are their worst critic and need a strong dose of celebration.
This is the new filter I’m adopting. When a friend posts something from their highlight reel, I want to stand and cheer—NOT COMPARE. I will remember how failures are never far from the forefront of my mind, and that post might just be a way of saying, “I don’t always mess everything up. LOOK.” It will be an invitation to stand and cheer.
Today is a good day to extend the benefit of doubt, set aside comparison, and sow kindness into each other.
Community is born in such a place as this!
#MomentofTruthMonday #BenefitofDoubt #FailureIsNotYourBoss #NoComparison #Community
2 thoughts on “Moment of Truth Monday”
I don’t even know if I’m responding to you or a no response email!!
I seriously look forward to reading these on Monday. Not just because I admire you but because your truths are so clear, honest and well, true!
I love this one. I got off of FB almost 6 months ago because I felt it didn’t bring anything positive into my life. But reading this, I think I was the reason for the negativity. I would compare, judge, eye roll, or be jealous towards posts instead of celebrate or see that the person needed encouragement. Thank you for writing this! Hey, I might even get back on FB!
Have a good week! Katie
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Katie: you are darling and your words have ministered to the secret places of my heart. Thank you for showing up in this space, being uniquely you, and engaging with me.