The question itself wasn’t bad. But, the afternoon interrogation-which included a single question {presented in varying ways} repeated over and over-was exhausting.  He must have asked me 100 times about the old cell phone collection in our hutch. He wanted one of them for his own personal use. I attempted to explain {each time} that there was more involved in having a cell phone than simply charging an old one. By his line of his questioning though, clearly it was me who didn’t get it!

Our afternoon cycled like this: He asked the question. I responded with a simple explanation. He asked the same question {possibly with a slight change in syntax}-again. I answered-again. The struggle was real; he just couldn’t understand why giving him “pick of the litter” wasn’t a reasonable solution. {For the record, I don’t care to ever discuss SIM cards again.}

I don’t fault him for not understanding my explanation. He doesn’t have any background knowledge on the subject to assist his understanding {that is–short of watching his entire family use their personal devices on a way too regular basis}. My words were audible, but not understood. He knew what he wanted, and he remained unrelenting in pursuit of the prize.

As I reflected on our lengthy dialogue, I couldn’t help but wonder how often my relationship with God bore a similar resemblance.  My question offered through prayer {and often whining}, God’s answer, my repeated question due to my unrelenting pursuit of the one answer I’m listening for, God’s repeated answer and my continued lack of understanding.

Faith is like that. I’ve had to wrestle some hard truths to the ground. I’ve held shaky theology up against life experiences and had to decide if I really, truly believed. Experiences underscore what we really hold as core truths about God.

Seasons are like that. Hard seasons are often better understood in hindsight, yet in the moment it’s instinctive to reach for answers. I’ve expended so much energy trying to understand “why” that I’ve missed the very lesson I needed to learn; missed lessons will be relearned.

I don’t always have enough information, or previous experience, to gain understanding in single moments.  I’m okay with that, I think. I’ll keep asking {like my son}, God will continue answering, and at some point my experience will intersect with His provision and I’ll have an “aha” moment.

An end to my son’s questions didn’t seem probable that day. We were running over the same old ground. My answers simply didn’t satisfy his longing. Unlike me, I don’t believe God opposes my questions {even my persistent pursuit of a single answer}. I might be reaching into something that I can’t understand, but eventually {as I search scripture and pray} clarity will come and {eventually} the experiences will no longer seem hollow.

If you are walking through a confusing season, or if you keep asking the same questions—I encourage you to continue seeking. Ask the questions. Pursue an answer through prayer. Just as a SIM card is critical for the phone to function, our ongoing conversation with God is critical for our personal healing and growth.